


Never Know.

by TheStripedFlamingo



Category: Queer Eye - Fandom, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy RPF
Genre: Blood and Injury, Gen, Guns, Medical Inaccuracies, Near Death, Protectiveness, Shooting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24724246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStripedFlamingo/pseuds/TheStripedFlamingo
Summary: “See you later!”This was the last thing Jonathan and Karamo had heard Antoni say before he left the house. None of them knew the horror that the next few hours would bring them.
Relationships: Bobby Berk & Antoni Porowski, Jonathan Van Ness & Antoni Porowski, Karamo Brown & Antoni Porowski, Tan France & Antoni Porowski
Kudos: 19





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Im back!  
> Gosh, this fic is a mess! I haven't written anything quite a long time so this is just a messy whump to get myself motivated again! It has only been slightly edited, but I am actually quite proud of it :)  
> I am currently working on a long story about Queer Eye which I am really looking forward too!  
> I also want to clarify.  
> NONE OF THE QUEER EYE STORIES I WRITE WILL CONTAIN ROMANCE SHIPS BETWEEN THE FIVE! IT IS ALL PLATONIC BECAUSE WE NEED TO NORMALISE MEN BEING AFFECTIONATE TO EACH OTHER.

“See you later!”  
This was the last thing Jonathan and Karamo had heard Antoni say before he left the house. None of them knew the horror that the next few hours would bring them.

“C'mon boys! We gotta get back home,” Bobby was leading the way back to the car, while Antoni and Tan followed behind. The three of them had decided to go on an early morning hike, Karamo and Jonny had said ‘no’ since it was too hot for their liking, they also didn’t want to leave Dewey in the house alone.  
The cast of “Queer Eye” was spending some time together at Bobby’s house in LA. They decided they didn’t see each other enough and wanted to do something together outside of work. From the moment they met they clicked, but now they were a family that would never be broken.  
They were almost at the exit on the trail, when suddenly, Antoni, fell to the floor with a loud thump. 

With a sigh, Brandon Perez cursed at himself, for again shooting at something that wasn’t there. He shook off the laughter of his more experienced big brother, who loved to make fun of his lack of skills.  
He had gone out to kill something bigger and better than before, but living in California didn’t give him much of a chance. He still held on to hope though, you never truly know what is in nature.  
His family had hunted for generations, and he loved to do it, but he had never gotten very good at it. His older brother had travelled around the world to countries that had the best hunt and never failed to tell him what a failure he was.  
Today, they had gone out together, as much as they teased each other, hunting was a family tradition and they would never pass up a chance to do it.  
“Just face it, Brandon, you aren’t very good. We should go home,” his older brother, Charlie spoke, and Brandon nodded in agreement, it was getting hot.  
But, as they turned to leave a heavy rustle off leaves, Charlie quickly picked up his rifle and began to aim.  
“Before we go, see the master at work,” he spoke, his words were contradicting his actions as he was having difficulty aiming through the eyepiece. Brandon saw this as a moment of glory and began grinning with excitement.  
“You idiot! There is nothing there,” the younger of the two exclaimed, he loved seeing the anger on his brother's face.  
Like an alarm, Charlie out of anger and frustration let his finger pull the trigger, sending a deafening noise throughout the beautiful nature they had the pleasure of spending there morning in.  
The noise caused Brandon to jump, Charlie usually got angry when he made a mistake whilst hunting and he tended to fire his weapon with no second thought.  
“What the hell was that for!” Brandon shouted in anger, they weren’t meant to shoot their guns randomly, and he hated when Charlie would do it. His rage only got bigger when Charlie rolled his eyes and shrugged carelessly.  
“Relax, everything is fine, let just head home,” Charlie said as he marched his way out of the hunting trail they had been following.  
As Brandon turned to follow him, he swore he heard a scream that rang throughout the entire city. 

Tan had been walking slightly in front of Antoni, leading the boy down the trail with there hands placed gently in each other. So when the hand was harshly removed from his soft grip, Tan turned around quickly and let out a piercing scream as he fell onto his knees beside Antoni.  
Bobby, who had been walking in front of the two younger boys whipped around and took a moment to take in what was happening.  
Antoni was lying face down in the dirt trail, and Bobby quickly took note of the blood that was rushing out from underneath him. Eyes widening in a mixture of shock, fear, and anger, Bobby ran forward and fell down next to Tan, who was trying to shake Antoni awake.  
“Bobby, he w-wont get up,” Tan had tears flowing down his face as he shook Antoni’s lifeless body. Tan could see the blood, but he didn’t want to believe it, he knew he had to turn Antoni over, but he didn’t want to. Seeing Antoni lying on the floor bleeding was enough, but seeing his face would haunt him for the rest of his life.  
“Tan, we need to turn him over, so we can stop the bleeding!” Bobby shouted at Tan, he didn’t apologize for his tone, he didn’t even notice his tone.  
“I will not,” Tan said stubbornly, his hands were now gripping the back of Antoni’s shirt protectively.  
“Tan! If you don’t do it he will die!” Bobby exclaimed in desperation, but still Tan did not move, he seemed to be in a state of shock. “Fine! Go over there and try and call for help!” Bobby screamed as he shoved Tan away from Antoni with all his strength, once he heard Tan slowly walk away, he turned Antoni over. 

Heart clenched, Bobby took in the state of the unconscious brunette, the blood was coming from just above his right hip, where he had clearly been shot. Everything felt unreal, Bobby wasn’t aware of what his body was doing, the only thing his mind knew at the moment was that he had to save Antoni. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he couldn’t.  
Yanking his sweaty shirt over his head, Bobby wasted no time in pressing the fabric to Antoni’s side and wrapping it tightly around his body, almost throwing up at the way the white cloth had gone immediately red.  
“Bobby! There is no connection!” Tan shouted, his voice was panicked, but he seemed to be in a more alert state.  
“Then we are going to have to drive to the hospital! Tan, I need you to help me get him to the car,” Bobby spoke already beginning to lift the younger man. He wasn’t sure if he should be moving him, but it was better than waiting around.  
With a deep breath, Tan marched his way over to assist Bobby, wanting to be of help, instead of being a nuisance. Tan doesn’t want to see Antoni in pain, but seeing him dead would kill Tan.  
Lifting Antoni was surprisingly easy, he was a grown man and was not light but at this moment he was as light as a feather. 

Once they reached the car, they laid Antoni in the back seat as gently as he could, Bobby wasn’t paying any attention to the blood that was now on his seats as he jumped into the front seat. Tan was quick to hop in beside Antoni and pull the injured man’s head into his lap, hoping to offer comfort. Somewhere in the back of Tan’s mind knew that Antoni could feel him, he knew that Antoni knew he was there.  
“You’re going to be just fine baby boy, you just need to hold on, please hold on,” Tan had his forehead pressed against Antoni’s, whispering gently, with his hand gripping his wrist, praying that the steady thumping of a pulse doesn’t stop. 

“T-Tan,” Antoni’s soft voice was loud in the dead silence of the car. Neither Bobby nor Tan knew what to say to each other, and they were scared to contact Karamo and Jonathan.  
“Antoni, you with us angel?” Tan almost cried at the sound of his best friend’s voice, Antoni’s eyes had been fluttering open throughout the entire car journey, but then they would fall shut once again. His body was fighting itself.  
Antoni didn’t respond, his body losing consciousness once again, this time hurting more than the rest. Tan could feel Antoni’s pulse getting weaker, he was losing a tremendous amount of blood, both Tan’s and Bobby’s shirts were doing nothing to stop it.  
“Bobby! Hurry the fuck up!” Tan shouted at the man in the front seat, who was already going above the speed limit, but Tan’s scream made him go even faster, not caring about the people he was pissing off in the busy streets. 

Pulling into the parking lot of the hospital, Bobby let out a nervous sigh. They had made it, but this was where Antoni’s fate would be determined to both him and them.  
Bobby, aggressively banged on the horn of his car, catching the attention of the nurses and doctors who were standing around the outside of the hospital.  
“Sir, is everything alright?” A female doctor asked when Bobby rolled his window down enough for them to be able to have a conversation.  
“My friend has been shot!” Bobby screamed and the backdoor of his car was yanked open.  
Tan and Bobby were forced to watch as Antoni was loaded onto a stretcher and taken into the emergency room. All they could do now was wait.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually hate switching POVs and jumping from this to that but I think it worked well in this!  
> Yeah! also, I am not a doctor, everything from this I found online.  
> Enjoy!

Antoni didn’t know what was happening, one moment he was enjoying a beautiful walk, then he was on the ground, fading in and out of consciousness. The first thought that came to his head was “I am about to die.”  
Antoni had done most of the things in his life that he wanted to accomplish. He travelled, and he did work that he felt made the world a better place. He didn’t get married, but you can’t have everything, right?  
“If this is it, I’m ready to go,” was what he kept thinking.  
He was waiting, waiting for the white light. He was waiting for the feeling of his soul-lifting or someone reaching out to take it.  
None of that happened.  
He continued to take inventory in his body and soul, the burning feeling in his stomach where the bullet had landed began to take focus. There was no sharp or intense pain like you would expect you’d feel when a metal bullet rips into your body. He could feel Tan and Bobby next to him. He could feel the two lift him. He could feel Tan’s hand in his, he heard his voice telling him to hold on and that he was going to be okay. He could hear Bobby’s road rage. He could hear the man screaming at people to go faster, he could hear the radio that was playing loudly, Bobby hadn’t seemed to notice the volume. He wondered how long he’d be there, how long would he be laying in a car, going in and out of consciousness before they made it to help. 

Help came eventually. He awoke while on a gurney, felt tubes in his nose, and he began to rip them out. Nurses began shouting, restraining his hands and get the tubes back into his nose.  
Then he blacked out. 

….

“Bobby! Tan! What the fuck happened?” shouted Karamo as he ran into the waiting room of the hospital, Jonathan trailing behind him. Karamo appeared more composed than Jonathan, the youngest of the group had tears streaming down their face and was looking like they were having trouble breathing. Karamo had a blank face, but you could see the pain in his eyes.  
Upon hearing Karamo’s voice, Bobby stood up and launched himself into Karamo’s arms and began to sob. Karamo was surprised by Bobby’s action but comforted him non the less.  
The two let go and Bobby took a seat back down on the uncomfortable seat.  
“Where is Tan?” Karamo asked gently, he took a seat next to Bobby while Jonathan sat on the floor in front of them, a hand on Bobby’s knee.  
“He went to the bathroom, they gave us some shirts since ours were covered in b-blood,” Bobby spoke with a quivering voice, now he was going to have to retell the trauma he had just been through.  
Coming into the hospital was a nightmare, two shirtless men walking inside the building with blood covering portions of their bodies were going to gather some attention. The staff had been kind enough to lend them some shirts and allow them to wash up in the bathroom. Tan was taking longer than Bobby. Bobby didn’t want to leave Tan, but he didn’t want to get in the way of his processing, so he left to the waiting room and had to make the call informing Karamo about what had happened to Antoni.  
The trio held each other as Bobby explained what had happened. He shared how their precious friend had collapsed to the floor for a few moments. He shared how Antoni would come in and out of consciousness. He told them about the bullet wound. He told them everything.  
The trio was cherishing the touch of one another when they heard the patter of familiar feet.  
Tan stood with a look of absolute devastation on his face. His face was wet with tears and his small body was shaking. Seeing Tan in a state of complete distress made the situation worse.  
“Tan,” Karamo said, standing from his seat and pulling the silver-haired man into his arms. Letting Tan’s warm tears soak into his shirt.  
“H-He isn’t g-gonna make it. T-there was so much blood,” Tan cried, a sob coming out of his mouth several times. He was about to continue speaking when he was cut off.  
“Tanny, Antoni is going to be just fine. He isn’t going to leave us,” Jonathan had been uncharacteristically quiet, speaking up, voice thick with tears.  
“You don’t know that!” Tan shouted in anger. He wasn’t going to bloody calm down. One is allowed to reassure him that everything would be fine. How did they know that?  
“Ant is a fighter, Tan. He will pull through,” Karamo said, making Tan pull away from him aggressively.  
“This is a fucking movie! This is fucking real life! I bloody knew that Antoni is a fighter! That doesn’t make his chances any higher! We don’t even know how bad it is, or what is happening to him at this moment! What if he lost too much blood? Or what if the heart monitor went flat? What if-'' Tan was pulled back into Karamos arms. His breathing had gotten too high and they did not need Tan in the hospital as well.  
Tan’s outburst had caused many inside the building to stare at them, some in pity and some in annoyance, but no one interrupted them.  
“Tan, you need to stop thinking about the what-ifs. You’re right, Antoni may not survive this, but you need to have hope, without hope what do we have? You need to at least hope that Antoni will be okay.” Karamo spoke.  
Tan caught his breath against Karamo, hearing Karamo’s heartbeat was calming in a way he never knew before.  
“I can’t live if he isn’t,” Tan didn’t know if he would ever be able to cope with Antoni’s death. Antoni brightened Tan’s life, without him it would feel like someone had stolen the sun.  
Tan removed himself from Karamo once more, he then took a seat on one of the chairs and buried his face into his hands. 

Antoni had so many drugs in his system, there were so many faces, and voices that he was aware of. His best friends were all together at the hospital and were sitting in absolute distress. His injuries had been severe, and his chances of survival were not high.  
For some reason, Antoni refused to give the hospital consent to operate. He doesn’t know why he was stubborn, but his friends convinced the hospital to ignore his objections and perform life-saving surgeries.

….  
Clutching onto Antoni’s hand, Tan cherished watching the worn-out boy sleep in the small bed. His poor friend had been in the hospital for an entire month and had endured 6 surgeries and had lost quite a few body parts. Antoni now lives without a right kidney, a gallbladder, and a portion of his pancreas.  
The bullet also remained in his body, the scrap of metal that had caused this. The surgeons did not want to risk digging around, so they left it there. He could eventually get it removed, but now it was left poking at his rib cage. 

Having to leave Antoni alone in a hospital, was a struggle for the whole group. It was hard for them to be around each other because a piece of them felt like it was missing. The saying that you never truly appreciate something until it's gone is true, they never realized the impact Antoni had on their lives until they almost lost him.  
Seeing him awake filled them with joy, despite all the pain he was suffering, he still wore that boyish grin on his face and spoke with so much passion. He enjoyed when Jonathan would brush his hair, and take care of his face, he loved when Karamo would remind him that he is beautiful and that the scars will heal, he enjoyed when Bobby would snuggle on the bed with him, and he adored when Tan would hold his hand, and make sure he was being properly taken care of.  
It was sad, but Antoni didn’t really have any other visitors. Sure, Dewey, Ian, and Rob had all made their way out and had done nothing to offer support, but none of Antoni’s family came to visit. This infuriated the Fab Five, but Antoni seemed rather calm about it.  
The people who had done this were still being searched for, they didn’t have any leads, so it was likely that no one would be caught. 

Antoni slowly recovered, he had to spend almost two months in the hospital before he was admitted to leaving, and after that, he was still experiencing extreme pain. When he was released, he was immediately put back on bed rest.  
He had never been so grateful to have such amazing people in his life. His friends put their lives on hold for him. Sometimes, he forgets how loved he is, but now he will never take anything for granted. Though most of the cast lived in the LA area, they all stayed as guests in Bobby’s welcoming home.  
Eventually, Antoni began to heal and Jonathan and Karamo had to go back to their own homes.  
Jonathan had to leave first, they hadn’t seen their kitties in an entire month, and they were beginning to feel a little bit like they weren’t doing much for Antoni’s recovery. Antoni had been shockingly brave and he was the one who convinced them to return home.  
Karamo decided to leave at the same time, he missed his kids and he can’t remember the last time he slept in the same bed as his fiance. Karamo knew Antoni would come out of this a survivor.  
“If I leave, and something bad happens to you, I will never forgive myself,” Jonathan confessed to Antoni. Karamo and Them were about to leave, the two felt guilty that they weren't there. Antoni could have died and they wouldn’t have been there. They also had to walk on eggshells around Tan and Bobby, the two were there and had witnessed extreme trauma and Karamo and Jonathan would never be able to understand what they saw. It had been tense for a while, but Antoni woke up and they came together to care for him.  
“I will be fine, nothing that happens to me could ever be your fault,” Antoni spoke softly, he wanted them to go home, the more they stayed the more he felt like a burden. Antoni also wanted things to go back to normal, even if he didn’t know what that really was. 

Bobby and Tan had changed a lot since the incident, they were both dealing with PTSD, causing them to have nightmares, panic attacks, and they could be easily angered. Bobby never went in his car, he wasn’t even sure if it had been cleaned. But they found that having Antoni in their presence was the only cure that would work.  
Antoni’s first few weeks of returning to regular life were heavy. He was on hyper-paranoid, terrified that someone would pull out a gun, start shooting, and he would be too fragile to run away.  
But they all knew that their quality of life would be ruined if they allowed the shooting to take over their lives and hold them back. 

In some way, the shooting had been the most important experience of his life. He had almost lost his life, and his life would be forever impacted. But he had beautiful souls in his life who would always stand by him. The 5 were more connected, they visited him constantly and they were much more connected as a family. Antoni was able to share his story, and help other victims who have dealt with the PTSD of being shot and having no idea who did it. The others shared their experiences with witnessing such trauma and having fears of missing trauma. They had each other's backs. It didn’t matter if anyone would want to leave them, they would always have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate endings, especially this one, it is way too cheesy  
> But yeah! this was just a short come back piece that I kinda hate but I love writing so I enjoyed doing it.
> 
> Remember,  
> Oh wells, Not what-ifs

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't planning on making this a two-part fic, but it felt too long to put into one chapter.  
> Also, I've never really written anything like this before, so please let me know how I can be better :)  
> Anyway! SEASON FIVE OF QUEER EYE WAS SO AMAZING. Gosh, those five have really come a long way! Antoni is the happiest I have ever seen him.  
> More works coming :) I put my all into these to it might take a while!


End file.
